Stress: Friend or Foe? How to Harness It for Growth (Without Letting It Overwhelm You)
I see it all the time in my practice. A client sits across from me, exhausted, overwhelmed, and convinced that stress is ruining their life. “I just need to get rid of stress,” they say. “Then I’ll feel better.”
It's a widespread belief, and I understand why. Stress is blamed for all sorts of things—burnout, anxiety, sickness, even relationships. But there's a catch: stress itself isn't the problem. It's how we manage it that makes the distinction between breakage and strength.
The Two Faces of Stress
Stress is a part of life. It's what wakes you up to rise in the morning, pushes you to prepare for an important meeting, and propels you to move quickly in the event of an emergency. This is adaptive stress—the kind that slices your attention like a knife and speeds up action.
But stress can also get out of control. When a person says to me, "I can't switch off," "I feel stuck," or "I keep overthinking everything," they're usually experiencing maladaptive stress—the sort that hangs around, saps energy, and keeps the nervous system in high gear.
I once had a startup co-founder who was waking up at 3 AM each day, racing thoughts, couldn't fall asleep again. She wasn't stressed—she was in it. Her body no longer knew when to sleep.
The Misunderstanding of Stress
One of the biggest problems is that we’ve started treating all stress as bad. The truth? Your perception of stress shapes its impact on your body.
There's great Harvard research showing that those who see stress as a challenge tend to have a healthier physical response to it. Their hearts race, naturally, but their blood vessels don't constrict, the same way they do when they're exercising. Those who see stress as bad, on the other hand, have a much worse physiological response—constricted blood vessels, inflammation, burnout.
So, How Do You Switch from Maladaptive to Adaptive Stress?
One of the fantastic tools I prefer to present to clients is rapid self-hypnosis.
What is Rapid Self-Hypnosis?
It's a simple, fast way to shift your nervous system from high alert to calm, concentrated. Unlike deep meditation (which may be out of the question when you're already tense), self-hypnosis is instant, acting within minutes.
Here's how it helps:
Stops the rumination cycle – When your mind is in a spin, self-hypnosis can cut through the cycle and bring insight.
Reprograms stress responses – Rather than reacting with panic, your mind begins to link stress with concentration and relaxation.
Engages the parasympathetic nervous system – This is your body's "rest and recover" response, reversing the damage of chronic stress.
A Quick Self-Hypnosis Exercise to Try
Find a quiet place – Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and inhale slowly.
Use an easy focus sentence – Whisper to yourself something like, "I am safe. I am in control."
Turn on your imagination – Imagine yourself handling stress effectively. Recall a time when you were strong and capable.
Deepen relaxation – Count down slowly from 5 to 1, telling yourself that with each number, you’re becoming calmer.
Return feeling refreshed – When you’re ready, take a deep breath and open your eyes. Notice how your body feels.
Spending a few minutes a day doing this can rewire your body's stress response. I've had clients tell me they're sleeping better, reacting less emotionally, and feeling more in control after consistently practicing self-hypnosis.
The Bottom Line
Stress isn't the villain—it's what you do with it. When you stop fearing stress and start working with it, you're taking control of your mind and body.
So the next time stress hits, ask yourself: Is this stress helping me or trapping me? And if it's the latter, take a deep breath, reboot, and try quick self-hypnosis.
Have you ever used self-hypnosis or other techniques to manage stress? Let me know—I'd love to hear what works for you.